In the Sanskrit language there is a very expressive word for freedom: Taran, which means 'liberation,' 'swimming,' or 'floating.' And it is such a beautiful idea that both these things, swimming and liberation, are alike in their nature.

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It's an odd thing, being an "art" model.

"Art" being a loose term for (willing to get nekkid). You cease to have ownership over your body in certain ways. Not only do photographers ask you to get into positions and hold your body in contortions that may not be comfortable *at all*, not only do you at times sign a model's release giving up rights to those images, but you can also start to change some of the thinking you've had about your body, and what it means to be "yours". Now don't get me wrong...my body is MINE. But images of my naked bod are "out there"...in photographers' galleries, in their livejournals, in their online portfolios.

And all of a sudden your body, the "you" that you have been used to being ceases in a certain way.

It's empowering and a little disconcerting at the same time.

Think about it.

All those years of body issues, alternately hiding or playing up body parts with strategic clothing choices, playing up features and hoping no one sees your stomach/legs/rolls.

And then there it is. Your 250+lb body...naked and permanently captured.

And you're o.k. with it. Because you have made the choice to FINALLY be o.k. with it.

And yet, it's not just you and the photographer seeing you in all of your nakedness. All of sudden there is the possibility of countless people that you do not know about seeing your naked body.

Some of them may appreciate it.
Some of them may find it unappealing.
Some of them are aroused.
Some are turned off.
Some want more.
Some turn away.
Some will call it art.
Some will call it porn.


All have an opinion about *you*....and your nakedness.

And you know what? For me , this is a statement, this getting "nekkid".

I have a choice at this point in my life.

I can love my body and appreciate it.
I can say *fuck you* to those who have left me feeling "less than" because I'm "more than".
I can just "be".

So I'm being.

And I am finally owning by body by not letting it be mine

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